As I think more and more about what I do with my time, I realize the importance of habits.
Alignment
When we align our values with our habits, we will invite peace into our lives. Sure, I can type a bold statement, but what can we do with that to actually achieve it? If you really want to go there with me today, grab a pen/pencil and piece of paper (or open the “notes” app in your phone…) and keep reading. If you want to be really serious about this, I created two simple worksheets to help you write this out. Just tell me where to send it…
My hope is that after you do this exercise, you will stop feeling blown around by circumstances each day like a leaf in the wind.
Application
Let’s start by looking at today. What does your day look like. I don’t mean what is on your “to do” list, I mean what have you planned for today. Look at each of the hours in the day and identify what you did or what you have planned for today.
Now we need to talk about what is most important to you. For me, that is a sweeping statement. Where do I even begin? So let’s break it down even further. What is most important to you…
…regarding your relationships?
…regarding your physical well-being?
…regarding your emotional well-being?
…regarding your financial well-being?
…regarding your employment?
Hopefully those questions got at least five things down that are MOST important to you. If you have more than 7 or 8 things, you have some that are more important, but not most—trim it down.
OK. Now look at your hours above. How many of those hours’ activities were related to the things that are on your list of MOST important? Now it is time for personal reflection.
If so, great! But chances are, if you are human and still breathing right now, you have some room for improvement. Are all of your important things being addressed every day? Probably not, and that is OK, but is there a priority that you might want to focus more time and energy on tomorrow? Circle it, highlight it, or email it to yourself.
Now is the Time for Change
If your day full of activities is not reflecting your list of priorities, now is the time to make a change. Nobody can—or should—overhaul her entire schedule in one day. So today, choose ONE priority that you want to plug into your schedule. It may be your top priority or it may be the most urgent or it may be the one you know you never fit into your schedule. Put it on there—even if it’s for 5:00am or 10:00pm, plan to make it a part of your day today if you can, tomorrow if your day is almost over and you can’t plug it in till tomorrow. The key is to do it! Even writing it down on a schedule for tomorrow will feel so good!
Don’t get tempted to change 20 things on your schedule tomorrow—that’s cruel, practically impossible, and pointless. One at a time. Stick to your one thing each day for the rest of the week and then next week, you can decide if you feel ready to add a second thing. Don’t rush. You are building habits here. If you try to juggle too many new things at once, they will all come toppling down and you feel like a big failure. (P.S. Everybody drops things sometimes! Don’t beat yourself up, just pick them up and try again.)
Let’s think of this re-alignment not like when you take your car in to get re-aligned and they come back an hour or so later and it’s all done. This re-alignment is like re-aligning teeth. As in braces for years. It is a LONG process. Teeth don’t move (and stay moved) without braces and time, right? Neither do our habits. Just make one adjustment at a time and continue to check back in with yourself. Be fair and give yourself grace! Depending on the state of your teeth to begin with, the orthodontist will give you an idea of how long the treatments will take before your teeth are completely aligned. It is the same idea here. Depending on the state of your current schedule and how it aligns with your priorities, your efforts may require you to work at this for weeks or months.
Leave Guilt Behind
As you make these changes, you will notice how much easier your days become. Are they full and busy? Yes, but you will find you have more energy and you feel more peace in your life because you are not being weighed down by those persistent feelings of guilt all the time. You know what I’m talking about, don’t you? You know, the guilty feelings you have that you feel you should be doing something that you just haven’t gotten around to in a while, or ever. When you align your priorities and your schedule, you will feel like you are doing all the things you need to do and you will feel better about leaving some things behind. Remember: NO ONE ON THIS PLANET CAN DO EVERYTHING! Don’t even try. Don’t set yourself up for failure. Focus on your priorities and be intentional. This won’t happen by accident or coincidence.
One final newsflash for today: Priorities change. We come through different seasons in our lives and what is of utmost importance to you today, may not even rank a year from now. Don’t hang on to those things! Push them out of your schedule and make room for the things that are important to you right here and right now. If you notice, I have been very careful to avoid using examples in this post. Never add something to your schedule because you feel obligated to do it because other people are (or seem to be) doing it. Do what matters to you. Do what resonates with you. Trust your gut—that little voice inside will whisper and confirm that you are on the right track.
Don’t trains look silly when they are just sitting on tracks and not moving? Don’t lose momentum! Keep moving, even if it’s slow movement. You are creating a life you love!
I hope this helps to bring more joy into your life. I want you to know that this is something I am constantly working on and thinking about in my own life, I know how daunting it can seem. If you ever need encouragement without judgment, just email me or comment below. You’ve got this! Sharing is caring. If you can think of friends or relatives or coworkers who may benefit from finding more peace in their daily lives, I hope you’ll share this post with them.
I just had a conversation today about the need for adding a task to my plan for each day that I know is a good thing for myself but I don’t make time for it and instead fill my time doing other “good” things. Another quote I have heard says something about we can tell what we love by what we spend our time doing, or something like that more eloquently phrased.
May we take time to recognize what makes US happy. It does no good for anyone to always do things for other people if you overlook making sure you are happy 🙂
Yes! You are so right, Crina! Thanks for sharing your awesome insights!