I love stories! I often see events in my life or others’ lives as stories. My experiences morph into stories quickly and sometimes I talk too much and I don’t get to the point right away because I want to share every single detail (I’m sorry to all those who have had to sit through one of my many monologues…). SO, I am a big believer that stories are important. Not just those awesome stories that line our bookshelves, but the stories that make up our lives and the lives of our friends and families.
I recently read an article about five key secrets to happy families. I don’t know why, but I can’t get enough of those types of articles! I always want to know what I can be doing better and see if I am doing anything right. This article specifically talked about how our stories strengthen our families. It was right up my alley! The author quoted NY Times Bestselling author Bruce Feiler who said, “Children are happy, self-confident, and well-adjusted when they know where they came from, where they came from, when they know their family stories.”
This has made me think. A LOT. As a girl, I loved to hear stories from my parents. Hearing my mom talk about her childhood made me feel like I was somehow a part of it. I can still imagine her running around her rural Illinois town with her dog. Hearing my stepdad tell about growing up in backwoods South Carolina helped me understand him so much more and made him more relatable. My husband sat for hours listening to some of my stepdad’s crazy stories. Now that my siblings and I are all grown up and living in different places, one of my favorite things to do when we all get together is tell stories. I love to hear their stories about experiences they have had recently and I love to reminisce with them about experiences we had when we were children.
A few years ago when I was feeling more ambitious (and I had fewer children), I created December Daily albums.
Each year when I pull out our Christmas decorations, those albums are there and they are treasures for my children (and me!) to look at and reminders of how much they have grown, but how Christmas is very much the same from year to year. I love to sit with them and go through the pages of those books together.
This year, though, I have been distracted. I have been cramming my days with learning new things and trying to apply things I’ve learned. I am going through the motions of this season. Realizing this makes me want to be much more intentional with my December. I know I am a few days in already, but late is better than never, right? So here are a few ideas I have for stepping up this Christmas season and making it more meaningful for my family.
1-I want to take more pictures. Doing December Daily really forced me to take pictures every day. I looked for more ordinary moments to document. I want to remember this ordinary because I know that a few years from now, my ordinary will be completely different.
2-I want to listen to my children’s Christmas memories. What were their favorite things from years past? What do they remember? If I know this, maybe I can understand better what they value and put more focus and energy on those things this year.
3-I want to be more intentional with the stories that I share with my children. I am missing out on fantastic teaching opportunities by not incorporating my own stories in their lives more! This isn’t some big, massive endeavor, it is the idea that I want to connect with my children and relate to them so they can learn from my mistakes or successes.
4-I want to encourage my children to ask their grandparents about their lives and learn more about their histories. I have a wonderful mother and my husband has a wonderful mother and our children could really benefit from knowing more about their grandmothers’ lives and their experiences growing up in two very different places. Additionally, it will give my kids a little better concept of time. Often they ask me questions about my childhood like, “Mom, back then, did you have cars?” How old do they think I am?
5-I want us all to talk a little more. Each night at the dinner table, we do something we call “Best and Worst.” We start with the child whose day it is and he tells us his best and worst things from the day. Because I have four boys, I often hear about football plays made during recess and/or something they ate that day, but I enjoy those moments of having our kids take turns sharing things they feel are important. Our baby girl is now two and she participates, too, though she is often speaking words we don’t understand. Sometimes, though, my kids want to rush through this conversation and so they say quick things and try to move on to the next kid. I want to encourage us to talk and listen more. I want to know their stories, too.
I hope writing these down will help me to remember these goals and I hope that sharing them with you will help keep me committed to them. Feel free to follow-up with me and see how they are going—I need the accountability! I also hope that they inspire you to come up with some ways you can make your holiday season a little brighter without breaking your budget or stressing you out. Most of all, I hope these ideas and this season bring you joy.
What do you do with your family stories?
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