When I started writing the title for this post, the words from the musical Mame, “We need a little Christmas, right this very minute…” started playing in my head, music and all!

So, yes, we need a little Christmas even if it is July. And I’m only a little bit sorry if I got that song stuck in your head, because a) it’s a pretty good song and b) it’s stuck in my head, too, so now we have that in common.

During my blogiversary, I usually try to share something a bit more personal. Last year, I shared my twins’ birth story, the story of my most embarrassing moment, and some memories of my dear Aunt Norene.

Did you know that I used to collect porcelain dolls? I did. In fact, I still have a couple saved for my little girl. But I gave the rest away only a few years ago.

And maybe you are thinking, “That’s it? You collected porcelain dolls when you were younger? Big deal. Lots of young girls did (do?).” And you would be right. That’s not my story for today. I want to share with you why I collected porcelain dolls for all those years.

[This story has lots of different points of view, of course, and I didn’t experience them all. So I will only be sharing with you what I know from my own experience and memory. It was a LONG time ago, though I’d rather not say exactly how much longer. If you really want to know, though, ask my kids. They LOVE to tell everyone my age.]

When I was eight years old, my mom’s mom brought us from Salt Lake City (Utah) to Haines City (Florida). On an airplane. There would be no moving truck or shipped boxes. Whatever we wanted to keep had to fit in our luggage on that plane. We thought our move was temporary. Three months. Then one year. One year max.

We had very little. One of my aunts liked to joke that we had so little that if someone came to rob us, they’d leave things behind for us out of pity.

We moved into one of my grandma’s rental properties. It was an old, single-wide trailer. My mom and baby sister and I shared one bedroom and my two younger brothers shared the other bedroom.

It was November. I remember writing letters to friends and wishing I could be there with them–with familiar things and faces–especially for the holidays. That first winter in Florida was historically cold. We were freezing in our tiny trailer that winter. Frigid temperatures + humidity + uninsulated old trailers are cruel combinations.

That December, our mom sat us down to help us understand that this year’s Christmas would be very small. She had only been working a few temporary jobs since our arrival and with four young kids, that made for a big financial strain. But Mom had put aside $20. One dollar for each of us to buy a gift for each member of the family. On Christmas morning, we would each have four gifts to open.

We were young. Four gifts didn’t sound that bad. I mean, we weren’t usually having extravagant holidays anyway. Maybe we didn’t totally understand how different things would be. I honestly don’t remember complaining (–did we, Mom?). We spent December staying warm, adjusting to our new lives, and staying warm. Did I mention it was really cold that year? The Florida Freeze of 1989–it’s a thing.

About a week before Christmas, we went to the closest store. We tried to be sneaky shopping for presents. I thought we did a pretty good job. Now that I’m a mom, I am positive my mom knew exactly what everyone was getting.

We came home and wrapped our little presents and placed them together in our living room. We didn’t have a Christmas tree. We watched Christmas specials that aired on whatever TV channels our little antenna could pick up.

I can’t tell you what night of the week it was, but a few nights before Christmas, we were hanging out in our living room (still trying to stay warm) when someone knocked loudly on our door.

We looked at each other, stunned. Who was coming to our house? We only knew a handful of people and they were all staying out of the frigid weather.

Finally, my mom answered the door when she heard a loud voice through our thin door say, “Ho! Ho! Ho!” There was a little commotion, and before we knew what was going on, a Christmas tree was making its way into our tiny living room. I’m sure my mom protested at least 100 times during the next few minutes as trash bags full of wrapped presents were being carried in. Because that’s what moms do. Sometimes it’s hard to accept help. I know.

I stood with my brothers and sisters at the end of the little hallway that led to our bedrooms, to stay out of the way as the Christmas delivery continued. We were in awe. It was more presents than we had ever seen! And I know it sounds weird, but I just kept thinking in disbelief, “Someone bought these for us? Nobody even knows us.”

I knew the men who had come were from church. But they insisted that they were merely delivering the gifts. They may have even tried to pretend they were on an errand from Santa–in case we still believed. I just remember wondering who would have taken the time out of their busy holiday lives to go to the store and pick out all of these presents for me and my family. And even though I don’t think my heart was originally the size of the Grinch’s, I think that night as the men left the bags of gifts and slunk back out into the frigid night, my heart grew several sizes.

The next few days were agony as we stared at the mountain of gifts and tried to guess what each one was. Christmas couldn’t come soon enough!

By the time it was Christmas, we had made guesses and tried to peek at many of the gifts. But we couldn’t figure them all out, because some of them were things for which we had no frame of reference; things we didn’t even know existed. We got coloring books, crayons, and lots of thoughtful, age and gender appropriate gifts. It felt like someone really put a lot of thought into each one. One brother got a workbench toy. The other brother got a Mickey Mouse train set. Our baby sister got a teeter totter (–that thing stuck around for years!).

And I got a porcelain doll.

She was beautiful. Her dress was a peachy color satin, trimmed in white lace. Her hair was a little lighter than mine, curled in perfect ringlets. She was unlike anything I had ever owned. I was mesmerized by her. But even more than that, I remember sitting and inventing the story of how someone saw this particular doll and thought of me. That I was worthy of her. That I mattered enough to have something so beautiful. I tried to guess who it was.

That Christmas was a game-changer for me.

Someone else was aware of us. Better than that, someone else cared about us. And they loved us enough to make our first Christmas in our pitiful new home special. Magical. To this day (not so many decades later) it is still one of my all-time favorite Christmases. It still reminds me that I am not alone. Even when some days I feel like I am living on an island, in complete isolation from any other adults, I can remember that I am not alone.

That experience has inspired me to give in countless ways through the years. Each time I do, I pray that the receiver feels seen and loved the way I did. Because I know that that makes all the difference.

Are You Ready for a Giveaway?

It’s going to feel like Christmas today! MandieLee from Demkeboys.com is giving away THREE amazing prizes!

Can I brag on MandieLee for a minute? She is mom to two very special little guys with very special needs. But she doesn’t focus on their disabilities–she focuses on their abilities and she is constantly working to expand that list of abilities. If you know of a mother of one or more special needs children, please tell her about MandieLee. Or if you want perspective on what it’s like to raise a child with special needs, MandieLee’s your girl. Her posts are real and still full of hope. You’ll love her! I do.

One lucky winner will receive a Chalk Couture Bundle with Reusable Transfer*, Chalk Paste, Squeegee, and Surface.

Another lucky winner will receive a Custom Tumbler.

And a third lucky winner will receive a Custom T-Shirt (Check out social media today–I got several!).

***This giveaway has ended. Congratulations to Sarah, Gaylene, & Tina!***

*Reusable Transfer design may differ from the design pictured above.

And while you’re here…

What is a special gift you’ve received? Share in the comments below!

In case you’re joining our celebration today, be sure you don’t miss the first days and their giveaways, too!

Blogiversary Day 1: The Grand Tour: Some Thoughts & Stories from Our Home

Blogiversary Day 2: A Tale of Two Summers

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