For the entire year I had been planning to attend a writing retreat. I was so excited to go and spend some time focusing on the novel I am working on for hours on end. But then, of course, plans changed. Remember how I wrote about how unexpected last summer was for us? Now I know that was just a preview of what 2020 would hold!

Anyway, my husband gave me a writing “retreat”! Since I couldn’t go away anywhere, he took the kids with him for a few days to his mom’s house out in the country and I stayed home and wrote. I scheduled my days in advance and watched online writing talks from SCBWI and the Highlights Foundation. It was glorious (Don’t get me wrong: I missed my kids and hubby like crazy, but it was SO good for my soul!)! One evening, I pulled out my box of old journals from when I was in middle school and high school. I wanted to hear my childhood voice. But I noticed a lot more about who I was then and who I am now and I fell asleep that night thinking about all of that.

The next morning, I woke up and wrote this:

O​nce upon a time there was a girl. And she dreamed of a day when she wouldn’t have so many worries. She worried about her parents. She worried about her brothers. She worried about her sister. She worried about her half-sister and her half-brother, even if she only got to see them for a few weeks in the summers. She worried about friends at church. She worried about friends at school. She worried about her brother’s teacher who had a heart attack. She worried about money. She worried about which of her four outfits she would wear again on Friday. She worried about where she would sit on the bus. She worried about her safety on the bus. She worried about her brother’s safety on the bus. She worried about her body and wondered why she had headaches all the time. She worried about cooking dinner when her stepdad was too angry. She worried that she wasn’t setting a good enough example. She worried that she wasn’t helpful enough to her parents. She worried that she wasn’t enough. 

A​nd now that girl is a woman. She worries about her children. She worries about her husband. She worries about her widowed mother. She worries about her widowed mother-in-law. She worries about her friends. She worries about the kids at school who aren’t nice. She worries about the kids across the planet who don’t have anyone to love them. She worries about the book she’s writing. She worries about being a burden on someone else–for anything. She worries about voting and how she can speak up and still invite peace. She worries about money and how she can be smarter with it. She worries about the increased traffic on her street. She worries about the environment. She worries about the statements she is making or not making with her purchases and with her social media posts. She worries about her body and the mysterious mole that started bleeding last night. She worries about her hair–is it time to dye it? She worries about her aging dog. She worries that she’s not helpful enough to her community. Most of all she worries that she isn’t enough. 

B​ut that girl–that woman–is enough. She has always been enough. And all the worrying in the world doesn’t change a thing. Nobody knew all of the weight and the burdens she was carrying. Nobody could see how heavy her heart was–and still is. And now this girl–this woman–is trying to let it go. She is trying to trust more. She is trying to accept that things are out of her control. She is learning to accept her whole-hearted efforts and embrace the unexpected. Because she is finally willing to believe that maybe–yes, maybe–she is enough. 

Dear friends, if this resonated with you in any way, I hope you will know that you, too, are enough. We can all improve. We can all do better, but that doesn’t change our value. That doesn’t change the fact that we still have something to offer. Our imperfections do not change the fact that we can still do so much good with what we’ve got. And what I’m learning is that the more good we do, the more “whole” we feel. It is always my hope that the words I share bring you joy. You deserve joy. No matter what. Don’t you feel like that needs to be on a t-shirt so you can spread the word everywhere you go? Well…

Today’s Blogiversary Giveaways

Today’s blogiversary giveaways come from Gabbie Co. and Tee Shirt Society by Gabbie Co.! One lucky winner will receive a Monthly Subscription Box from Tee Shirt Society by Gabbie Co. and another lucky winner will receive his/her t-shirt of choice from Gabbie Co.!

You can find these ladies at

Gabbieco.com
Instagram: @akagabbieco
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/gabbieandco/

TeeShirtSociety.cratejoy.com

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