Don’t Compare–Ever.
I remember it well: our first year of marriage and Facebook was a new thing. I was catching up on all of my friends back home and I started telling my husband about so-and-so and how many amazing things he was doing with his life. Suddenly, my husband left the room, his exit stopped me mid-sentence. I was surprised. I followed him. He had moved to the living room to sit down, visibly upset. I don’t remember exactly what he said, but I remember thinking how damaging my comments must have been.
Comparisons are not healthy. Ever. We can’t compare our own lives to those of our friends or acquaintances (or perfect strangers). We can’t compare our spouses to other spouses. We can’t do this in our heads or out loud. My husband is a wonderful man. I don’t want him to be anyone but who he is. When I love and accept and support my man and encourage him to be the best version of himself he can be, he will be. When I trap him into feeling perpetually inadequate by comparing him to someone he’s not (and wasn’t meant to be), he will never feel comfortable in his own skin. This will cause negativity to grow like germs in a kindergarten classroom!
So the next time you are thinking of how you wish your spouse was more like so-and-so, STOP! Make that your last time. Celebrate him for who he is and who he can be and not for who he isn’t and was never meant to be. You will both be glad you did.
Lesson #2: Comparisons are for shopping, not for people. Don’t compare your spouse to anyone else.
