Sometimes things don’t go according to plan. At least not according to my plan.
In my plan, our twins were coming in April and my February appointment to get a tour of the hospital would put my mind at ease. I was nervous to deliver twins! I looked forward to the baby shower that had been scheduled for the end of February by my best friend. I had plans to work on the twins’ nursery. We had already purchased the paint for their walls and added cribs and car seats to our wish lists on Amazon. Our plans were in place.
An Ordinary Morning
I went to work the morning of Friday, January 30, 2009, feeling tired. But I was pregnant with twins, so naturally I was tired. I’d never been pregnant before, so I had no comparisons to make. I just kept going. In fact, I was running late that morning for an English Department meeting, so I rushed to the elevator (everyone insisted I stop taking the stairs) and waddled my way to the Department Chair’s classroom. She was just starting the meeting when I came in. Someone offered me a more comfortable seat near the front of the room because they all knew there was no way I could fit into a desk anymore. I sat down gratefully.
I didn’t know it then, but later when one of the teachers on my team came to visit me in the hospital, she told me I was looking gray that morning.
After the meeting, I went about another normal day. My students were reading a book together—you know, typical 8th grade English-Language Arts stuff where the whole class reads a novel and we discuss it and answer questions and take a test on it at the end. I had assigned the first 5 students at random (I drew names) and then began reading aloud before I turned it over to my students. I walked the classroom like I always did. By second period, I was really not feeling well. I sat down, but I couldn’t get comfortable. I walked, but that hurt, too. When another teacher came in my classroom to ask me a question, I asked her if she could stay with my classroom for a minute while I ran to the restroom. She happily obliged.
An Unexpected Revelation
I walked to the teachers’ restroom down the hall wondering why I was feeling so miserable this morning. I hoped it was just a little digestion issue or something that would soon go away. Instead my trip to the restroom gave me an unexpected revelation: I was spotting. Not heavy bleeding, but I had not spotted my entire pregnancy, so I figured this was not a good sign. I waddled back to my classroom and thanked the teacher who had been standing in for me. She smiled and left. I resumed reading with my students.
While one of my other students was taking his turn reading, I typed a quick email to my Department Chair that basically said, “I’m sorry to bother you, but I just found out that I’m spotting. I don’t know if there is anyone who can cover my classes, but I’d like to try to see my doctor. If not, I could wait until I have planning 5th period. Do you know who is free 3rd period?”
I resumed my casual walk around the classroom. My students continued to read. My Department Chair came to the door just minutes after my email was sent. Her eyes were intense as she whispered, “Go!” I grabbed my purse and headed for the door. My students, assuming I had a doctor’s appointment or meeting, sweetly said, “Bye, Mrs. McClure! See you Monday!” I waved goodbye, hoping they were right.
Calls for Help
As I walked to the elevator I considered my options. Once outside, I called my doctor’s office. The line was busy. What? How could it possibly be busy? I tried again. Busy signal again. I called my husband who is a teacher and coach in a different school district. No answer. I left a brief message about heading to the doctor and spotting then hung up, ready to cry. I just didn’t know what to do next. My next call was to my mom. My mom lives far away in South Carolina, but I just needed someone who could help me think reasonably because I was starting to feel panicked.
“Mom, I’m spotting. I tried to call my doctor’s office, but the line was busy. I don’t know if they’re open on Fridays. Do you think I should go to my doctor’s office or walk into the ER? I don’t want to pay to go to the ER…”
My mom took a deep breath and asked me which was closer.
I said, “They’re close. They’re in the same building, just different wings,” then before I could hear her response I said, “That’s true. I could just head over to my doctor’s office and if nobody’s there, I could go to the ER.” I had a plan. It wasn’t the plan I had when I awoke that morning, but it was my current plan.
When I arrived at my doctor’s office, I found that they were remodeling! There was one person there in scrubs and I told her why I had come. She said, “Go up to Labor and Delivery and check yourself in. Tell them your doctor’s name and they’ll contact her.” I thanked her and left.
Stressing Out
I walked to the main entrance of the hospital, still feeling miserable. That misery was masked by my nerves. I was no stranger to hospitals, my step-dad spent a lot of time in them. But I’d never checked myself in to a hospital and I’d spent no time on the Labor and Delivery floor. I expected some sort of “front desk” or reception area. I was sorely disappointed. So I walked into the main hallway, trying to find someone who could help me. I was about to start sobbing. I could feel it.
Just before I lost the battle with the monsoon of tears raging in my eyes, I saw a woman in scrubs. She was walking towards me, but was at the far end of the hall. She asked me if she could help me. I was so grateful! I nodded and simply said, “I’m spotting and I don’t know where to go!” I felt so helpless.
This very kind nurse’s aid walked with me to triage. She found nurses to help me. I am so grateful for her!
In the Triage Unit, two nurses planned to examine me so they could inform my doctor of the situation. In the meantime, my husband had gotten my message and called to tell me he was on his way. My mom called, too, and asked me for an update. I promised her an update as soon as I knew something. During my exam, I heard a splash. What was that? I didn’t know what to think—this was my first pregnancy, remember? The nurses looked at each other with panic in their eyes and said, “We’re going to go examine this fluid to see what it is and we’ll be right back.” I was pretty sure I knew what it was.
Revised Plan: Hospital Bedrest
A few minutes later, the nurses were ushering my husband into the little room and explaining that my doctor was on her way. The fluid was amniotic fluid. My water had broken. I would be staying on bed rest for the remainder of my pregnancy and they were going to try to keep those babies in as long as they could. They took me to a room and set my bed so that my head was lower than my feet. They began monitoring my babies and then started my IV. My doctor arrived about half an hour later and said, “Fix her bed. She doesn’t need to lie like that!” I was so relieved. She turned to me and asked me how I was feeling.
I told her how I was feeling a lot of discomfort at school and how I felt like I couldn’t breathe. She said, “Well, you’ve got two babies pushing against your lungs, you’re going to feel like you can’t breathe.” I shrugged it off. She’s the doctor and has seen this hundreds of times. This was all new to me. So I listened. The goal was to keep me in the hospital bed for two week and then we’d deliver the babies. TWO WEEKS! I was so not ready.
My husband called my mom and I laid in the bed, seeing double thanks to the medicine in my IV. By Saturday, I was feeling worse. My belly hurt. One of my twins was moving all over, so they had to keep adjusting the belts strapped around my huge belly so they could keep monitoring their heart rates. It was going to be a LONG two weeks.
No Air
The Saturday morning nurse asked me how I was doing. I told her it was hard to breathe. She said, “Well, you’ve got twins pushing against your lungs…” I nodded and kept focusing on breathing. It was taking all of my effort.
By Saturday evening when my new nurse arrived, I was really struggling for air. When she asked me how I was feeling and I again said that I was having a hard time breathing, she took notice. Finally! She checked my oxygen. I never saw the number, but I saw her face. She said, “Woah. You’re not breathing.” She connected me to a nasal cannula, kept monitoring my oxygen, then left my room. A few minutes later she came back to say that my doctor had ordered x-rays.
A Diagnosis & Another Changed Plan
There was no way I was getting up to stand in an x-ray machine at this point, so they brought a portable x-ray machine to me later that night. By about 4am, my nurse came back with results and news. My heart was enlarged and I had pneumonia. My left lung had collapsed, my right lung was full of fluid and my doctor was coming in a couple hours to deliver the babies via emergency c-section.
I had definitely been hit! All of my plans were forgotten. My mom and stepdad were already on their way. I thought two weeks was soon, but now I only had a matter of hours! I couldn’t believe how quickly everything had changed. Now our focus was on preparing our twins for their 10-weeks-early arrival. My twins who were due April 9, came instead on February 1 (Superbowl Sunday—my husband swears it’s a sign.).
Fortunately, my c-section went smoothly. My twins were each a little over 2 pounds. They were so tiny! I got to touch them for a brief moment and look into their sweet little eyes before they were whisked away by teams of nurses and neonatologists. They took me back to a recovery area and then to my room to recover. I was too sick to get up and my babies too premature to be allowed out of the NICU. All I wanted was to see my babies. I had waited for years for these babies! I was so overjoyed that they were finally here, even if they had not followed my plan.
Incentive
The nurses picked up on my desire to see my babies and used it as incentive. They promised that if I would get up and start walking around and do all of my breathing exercises (pneumonia, remember) that I could go see my babies the next morning. So I dutifully did everything they told me to do. I wanted to see my babies!
The next morning I was still pretty weak and miserable, but I had done all that the nurses and doctors had told me to do. I was ready to go see my babies. My nurse came in at shift change and I told her of my intentions. She said I couldn’t go. Then she said, “You’ll have the next 18 years to see them. What’s one more day?” I was so upset! Fortunately, my doctor came in the room about 15 minutes later and I told her that my nurse wouldn’t let me see my babies. A few minutes later, my mom was wheeling me down the hallway to the NICU for my first visit. I spent every day of the next seven weeks in that NICU. Those are stories for other days.
Blogiversary Giveaway #7:
I love this planner! This is the fourth year I am buying the same type of planner because I love it that much. I wrote a post about it last year. This year I decided to change it up a little. I opted for the more colorful, slightly smaller option. I always buy an extra planner and share with a friend. It could be yours! If you don’t win, you can find them in Target stores right now or on Amazon. This year’s planner is a couple inches smaller (In the past I’ve gone with 8.5″x11 and this is 7″x9″), but it includes two pages of shiny gold stickers and a moveable bookmark. I am also excited that it has a little page of storage pockets so I can slip a paper or two inside without worrying about them slipping out so easily.
{Update: This giveaway has ended. Congratulations to Crina Canty! I hope you love your new planner!}
Just remember to be flexible: life doesn’t always follow our plans!
Today is the last day of the Blogiversary Celebration. If you have missed any of the other days, you can click the links below:
Day 1 — 5 Things I’ve Learned About Life From Blogging (Special thanks to Ginny Hartman!)
Day 2 — Joy On! (My free e-book about 10 ways to add more joy to your life)
Day 3 — We All Have Stories: Remembering (Special thanks to Evalogue.Life!)
Day 4 — Wedding Memory Or My Most Embarrassing Moment (Special thanks to MomentsbyMae!)
Day 5 — Family Summer Read-a-Thon (Special thanks to Brenda’s Kids Books)
Day 6 — What Motherhood Means to Me (Special thanks to HeatheredLetters!)
